You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
