Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
