i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
