Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk is a universal language darling
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
