Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
