I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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