I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
