Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize