It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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