I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
