her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
