sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
