1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
