can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
