i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
