I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
