so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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