you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
