May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I faked an abortion last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
