Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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