Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
