If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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