tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
