I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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