Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
