You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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