Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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