I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
