I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
