Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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