I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
