Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Houston, we have a squirter
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
