im six kinds of drunk right now
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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