found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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