You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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