You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
