is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
