I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
