brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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