I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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