yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
