I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Pooping to opera.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
