Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
