last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize