Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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