jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
