Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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