To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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