Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
