The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
