oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
