covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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