just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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