Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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