Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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