Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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