I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
