so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
