i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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