My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
