I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
