No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
