i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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