did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
