At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
