Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i think i just lost a toe
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
