so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
